I want to crita about last Saturday..oh wait, last friday kali..hmm anyways one of the people i used to travel with last time was turning 21 that day- so fiancee nya invite kami2 lah utk 'surprise' dinner tapi tau jua ia akhir2..and they were the first to come and nobody got him any cake -- i'm still not 'rich' at the moment, so i can't afford to buy him a gift and come for the bday dinner.

So anyways, biasa lah ah dinner then bla bla bla..lapas atu, we went to wetherspoons for cheap drinks - durang lah ah, not me..i just ordered J20 =) 99p yo!! cheapest drink in the house, even if you ask for lemonade, its going to be more than 99p.. then we duduk2 lah at this table with 2 comfy sofas ( siapa yg pernah ke wetherspoons, tau tu how they look like) -- crita punya crita, suddenly kelurusan the bday boy, c James pindah duduk from the sofa that me & Samanta duduki..ada tia this thin, scruffy looking guy btanya 'can i join you guys?'..blum lagi orang ckp yes or no, duduk tia sblah ku..

Hahahah Ya Allah, berdebak2 jantungku bah..bukannya apa, it was obvious he was drunk and kami semua diam bah..the guys mcm nda kan ketawa.. he started asking me, felix n robert where we come from since we look Asian, then he suddenly look at me ( gila dakat lagi ia atu..eeee..) and said how he likes Asian girls.

I was like HELP!! arh the 4 boys yg duduk opposite our sofa..duiiii, lagi durang suka hahaha nampak bah durang kan ketawa atu..

that creepy guy introduced himself as Sam and you know what sambungnya that he likes Asian girls coz we give 'inspiration' --- yg paling teruk, he started asking me & Samanta whether we like his shoelaces-- then adakah ia angkat kakinya dpan our face, and tanya ' do you like my legs?'

ARGHHHHH hahahah at that point, i was like..okay, guys its not funny anymore, lets just go-- baik jua the guys finally get our SOS signals..

Fikir tah the guys ani will wait for us..tapinya asta, durang pulang yg berlari dulu..me & Samanta baru sja kan pakai coat, durang berlari dah keluar..atu membari garam ati lelakinya..

Hahahah it was creepy but it kinda made our night =) something to laugh about..tapi banar eh, i really don't want to bump into him if i'm on my own, making my way back home..kalau dulu, ada duit skit utk take a taxi, but now i been walking a lot..thus, i usually reject kalau orang kan bwa dinner or hang out after 7..beruri ku...

anyways tadi i went to library =) and had lunch at the Stannary..awhhh i miss campus food =D they are not bad and pretty reasonable for the amount of food they put on your plate and oh the salad bar is amazingggggg =D i will gladly become a vegetarian, if i get to have a salad bar like that in my house..

11 days til exam, 3 more days til i am bit rich and 31 days til i get to say 'i'm home..aww..rindu ku plang nah kan uk :p'

Salam

So, i'm back to where i was last year - in dilemma :-/

I haven't thought about gifts n oleh2 utk orang di Brunei properly til today-- actually i don't want to fikirkan coz paning memikirkan apa and siapa2 kan di bagi - most importantly, how much money do i have to put aside?

I like buying gifts for people tapinya this time around, i'm trying to minimise the cost- last year i spent about 200 pounds, ani including gifts for my parent and sisters-- but then for my sisters, i been buying them little things which i thought they might like through out the year- so kira bias sikit lah in their favour..bukan apa, durang ani kadang2 jenis yg mengcompare siapa dpt paling banyak..

hmmm balum lagi masuk all my cousins tu..- balah babah ada about 6 families, then babu about 7 families? atu pun after elimination process..and then anak beranak lagi..hmm last year i just bought them chocolates, marks n spencer stuffs and some paperchase items..siapa yg nda ampit barang, i just belanja them food..

i actually want to balikan uk-ish souvenirs for the little kids- saja kan mengencourage and inspire durang to study well so they cn go overseas jua..

but liatlah how my budget work this year-- i'm thinking of keeping the cost of souvenirs under 50 pound, possible kah tu?

my parent selalu remind me that i don't have to balikan everyone - faham jua tu durang that im living here on a student allowance..bukan kan shopping sja..

hmmm have to take that into consideration-- kn save duit bah for driving lessons, Aussie and Singapore Insyallah =)

Salam

Hello, cantik rupamu =)

Confession of the day: I cannot stop listening to Micbandit's Cantik rupamu -- its like, it is stuck in my head. When i first found out that these guys are Bruneians, mcm nda percaya -- not that i don't believe in local talents, its just that they kind of take it to the next level. Since the song ani stuck in my head and i can't stop playing the video clip to this song on youtube, i been googling them - durang ani signed to Kartello records which is owned by the 'President', Joe Flizzow of Too Phat.

Tbh, i alwayyyyys prefer Malique over Joe Flizzow..i think i have a bit of obsession with the name Malique or Malik for some reasons which aren't clear to me. Anyways-- Meanwhile Malique masa ani decide to rap in Malay, Joe F (if you listen to his latest songs) ani mcm try to be the Malaysian version of Jay Z.. I can't deny plang that his songs aren't bad and like he got all these talented people under his record company esp. Altimet.

Gilerrrr i love Altimet's 'Chantek'..hmmm see the pattern here hahaha i like the word cantik - there's a Pan-Asian restaurant in Truro yg namanya Chantek hehe i was so happy, i was like 'eh, Malay word yo!!'

Anyways so yea, that's my confession of the day-- more like nonsensical rantings actually..

Stress bah nie coz i just got my modules options for next year tadi ptg -- and it seems like semua i don't like. we have to choose one optional module for each term; the first term punya choice: Gothic, Witchcraft, Literature and Culture and Rythm Nation.

Now i know what you are thinking -- take Witchcraft!! I WANT JUAAAA-- BUT byk orang suka tu that one and since my uni pkai this point list, i know i won't get it..

Based on my essay results, i know i'm not in the top 30 or even 50..so since Witchcraft ani popular, they will give it to people yg top2.. SIOKKKKKK, they get to do HARRY POTTER!! and watch BUFFY!!! like siooook jua tu, i seriously wouldn't mind re-reading Harry potter..apa jua..

Another module yg i love - GOTHIC :) i love it to death!! ...see, i can do the module already..:p tapinya the module leader for this one is scaryyy!!! and he got a ponytail..and he's married to one of our lecturer and they have a baby now.. hmm.. endure weekly scary seminar with him or don't take the module at all..again, this is a popular choice..

yg the other two- Rythm Nation ani about Victorian poetry - sounds interesting plang but mcm intense the work and reading, i love poetry but i hate tearing them apart to the extent that it destroys my impression of it.. the other one, BLAHH i'm not considering at all coz its about Britain in the 1500-1700s - not my thing..

so yes, saya confuse nie masani..i need to do something i love and most importantly, something which i know i can do well at..

random info: tadi i took a short walk around the west side of town - gilerrrr lawa2 and basar2 rumah2 dsana, lawa-- it was nice to be out for a bit, not that i'm being any productive by just staying in my room..i did read Dracula though in the morning, about 15 pages..

oh well :)

Salam

I've just read Fiyyah's latest blog (which is awesome btw, thank you for the reminder :) ) and that made me reflect back on the things i learnt and exposed to, for the past months..

I learnt so many things about myself and how i am with/to other people -- byk kali dah di uji my principles, slalu dah kana question that sometimes it gets a bit too much.

I would like to be a better person, i really do - byk lagi kan di pelajari and di fahami..one might say, by being here, i 'm learning how to appreciate what was given back home - the hard way~

Some people kalau kemari try to make excuses, not to do this and that..mcm susah bah living the right way, tapi sebenarnya, kitani sendiri yg make it difficult..

If nada halal meat, jadi vegetarian or eat seafood sja tah...

atu yg paling menyedihkan actually..when kitani sendiri menghalalkan apa yang di haramkan dlm Agama.. bila di tanya kenapa, katanya dlm Agama, if nada halal meat, mkn tah sja apa yg ada..ckap Bismillah saja

I know this is nothing new - but when i first encountered someone yg bagi this reason, when i was in my first year, i was like 'suka hati jua...adakan tu dlm Al-Quraan, salah interpret kali'..

But entah ah, atu choicenya kali..yg calinya ia yg bertanya kenapa i don't pakai hijab..

When people you know, asks you that..i can answer with calm but when strangers, people you just met, ask you that -- i feel mcm i been stabbed, it bothers me a lot but i'm trying to change it into something positive..i'm seeing it as both a reminder from Allah, 2 strangers in a row asking me the same question..that got to be something..

hmm..once in Bristol, once in Turkey..

I want to wear tudong properly- i want to wear it, not to please anyone, but only sebab i want to please Allah. I don't want to wear it - on and off - i want it to be a permanent addition to my image. I'm not there yet- I am still otw, Insyallah I will change for the better.

Someone told me that lebih baik we change slowly, rather than doing it too fast and maybe losing steam/interest when you reach there- tarusnya karang that change would just be a temporary one.. Thank you for the good advice yea :D

Talking about change, i need to change my mindset about revision- like NOW~ hahaha this one change i need to do it fast sebabnya Time waits for no one..and i desperately need to do well this time around...

its time to kick-ass :) and learn at the same time..

Salam

Britain not considered plang..but hahaha saja, i discovered this website call Picnik yg allows us to edit and create for free- mcm photoshop, tapinya simple saja what you can do but its soo siook..haha kadang2 if kan nda mau blajar or buat kraja, kesini tah tujuan tu..

you can even search for pics online to put into whatever project you are doing-- you have to be online and open up an account with them plang to use it. its not that hard lah to create account..after that, you are free to use it.. :D

Teknologi

I went to Plymouth kelmarin dgn durang Felix & Rob -- durang berhajat kan mengaga the oriental shop di sana, so went sja. Plymouth is in Devon and the closest city to Cornwall..even though Truro is considered as a city, it is not on the same par as Plymouth.

Plymouth ani one could considered- the closest thing we have to urban civilisation :P they have all the big brands and even an apple store :D arh Drake circus. They have lots of Asian shops too - we only have one in the whole of Cornwall and its quite small too..maybe i'm exaggerating, mesti ada tu small asian shop somewhere that we are not aware of.

anywayssss, iatah sioook kelmarin :) they have some sort of international food market in the city and it was so festive rasanya -- the food was awesome, we shared a packet of diff. italian pastries and also makan fruit tarts..

waktu kan balik, kami singgah arh sony punya shop. there and then, i fell in love with....

Sony Bloggie PM5K:D

Lawa ahhhhh :) it costs under 200 pounds, about 140 kali..i want it straightaway..

well..not really plang, i was just amazed yg they created something specifically for people yg baru2 kan bervlog and keen youtubers like moi :)

This one mcm toy rasanya..i asked the guy if i can hold it, he kluarkan this one and another version of the bloggie, the MHS-CM5 one..

They are both very light- nda byk the difference between this version and the other one..major difference, yg PM5K doesn't hve optical zoom- digital zoom saja..meanwhile this one, ada 5x optical zoom. Yg calinya, this version is cheaper than the PM5k coz i think its a bit more bulky, its not slim like a flip.

Tbh i'm new to all this - i'm not really a gadget person, BUT i'm ready to make an exception hahaha i think finally having an iPod opens me up to all these technology...i had my first iPod last year, in december and even then pun, i didn't have any intentions to have it - it was a gift :D thank you schtinks

anyways, pokoknya, i'm actually contemplating on whether i should purchase one or not..mcm i would love to have on, before summer comes so that i can take lots and lots of videos of home and aussie maybe..

I can still make videos using my iPod and digital camera..and even my phone...so i think i can sabar until next academic year :) mudah2an tah buleh sabar hahaha..

I can see the world with that kind of money.. belayar kah or video? i wish i can have both-- tapinya i alrdy kinda blew up my funds this year dgn membeli nintendo dsi..mental ku when nintendo came up with nintendo xl..mcm nda batah durang introduced the dsi, ada tia lagi yg baru..

on that note, i don't really use my nintendo dsi nowadays..its kinda redundant when im at home, kalau travelling , bru tah i use it a lot..i'm thinking of re-selling it, sbabnya a) i don't really use it now and b) mahal the games..

but if i do that-- i think my sisters would axe me...c alai lah most probably :)

anyways, guess what..i haven't done a single thing or read anything..

arghhh mental ku...penyakit malas dtg kembali..

maybe i should start packing instead..

Salam :)

Sebenarnya..

i'm such a lame and 'sekadar...' person, it ain't funny hahahah okay fine..it is funny :)

i'm in love with.....


youtube!!!!

*awkward silence & lots of 'what?!?' *

i know i'm weird..i've accepted that fact, since i was like 12 yrs old? lama dah tu...

mcm fb jua, ramai jua yg addicted to youtube..mcm2 bah kan di liat which provides us lots of reasons not to do our work :) melalaikan tah banar youtube ani sebenarnya..so i'm not the only one with a crush on youtube!!

i always been a person yg slalu visualised stuffs in my head- mcm if i read a book/novel, i would read about 3 lines or at most a paragraph, then i would take about 5/10 minutes imagining those lines being said (complete dgn costume2nya, background2nya sekali)..then bru tah move on-- youtube helps me to visualise things better, esp with poems kdg2..

there's always ppl reading out some poems on youtube..i love it :) sanang lagi my work..i would have my texts open and replay those videos over and over again..

hahaha i sound mcm i don't have a life over here :p

my life, as i said before is basically uni and home- thrown in with International society duties and occasional outings (dinner, bowling, movies, short trips) with my friends here..kdg2 if malas kn kluar, ask the guys to come over for a game of cards or liat movie...hehehe they always come if kami promise them food..ani pun, i still need to invite ppl for lunch or dinner hmm nanti tah make time for them..

anyways my happy energy is all gone now..ngalih ku plang..arghhh i need to do serious revision by this weekend or else, i'm so screwed...

ooo confession time :)

i'm seriously in love masa ani...

i've known about it pulang, for a very2 long time but mcm, i'm in denial about it..

baru recently saja, after kana enforced bravis, baru tah i'm ready to accept that fact..

when i was travelling last time, bila sendiri2, on the coach or train..thats all i think about, daydreaming tah ku nah..thinking of all the possibilities..

:D it makes me happy-- makes me a more positive person..

the sky is the limit..

gilerrr confession bah..

hmmm it must be the latest episode of Glee that makes me all giddy and happy and emo hahahah..is this emo kan?

i call this me being honest with myself :) the first step of realizing you have a problem is by accepting or acknowledging that you have a problem..

so this is my problem..

i'm in love and i think always will be :) (always was? what?! ) hahaah


Salam :)

marah ku

Hari ani - rasa kan smacking bah ia punya face..seriously, saya bukan orang yg mental like that but ulahnya atu membagi orang marah saja. Regret ku agree kan tinggal serumah dgn ia ani, luan offensive bah ia tu..dari the first day dah. masa mula2, truk nie truk..lapas tu masa xmas n sblum easter okay ia..ani mcm apa ulahnya. aku decide utk stay d bilik ku pun jadi masalah baginya...andang jua ia tau atu yg aku memang suka stay n bljr di bilik, nda ku dpt blajr d bawh arh bilik tamu mcm ia..atu satu ah, lapas tu...ntah sasak kali ia, coz aku ckp aku broke dah but aku masih kn planning kan travelling..nda tau apa yg trigger ia, ia give me the cold shoulder dah..not that i care but ia nda bothr pun to hide, dapan2..yg mcm i told ia yg im going home awal so mcm party perpisahan utk my other teman serumah had to be before i leave..lapas tu tarus ia ckp, nya perfect timing tu nya aftr that utk parti drumah yg besar2an..jaling2 lagi tu..atuuuuu...

ia slalu put dirinya above orang lain-- kalau aku sedih or crying about ani kah atu..caranya mengcomfort nah, critanya pasal ia ani kuat..nda pernah give up bla bla bla..kirakan saying aku nie weak lah nie, stupid kah..coz fikir like that..nda ku tau how ia mcm ani ulahnya..hmm pokoknya i'm a spoiled scholarship brat from ia punya eyes..

bila im all marah2 like this, mcm2 bad things kluar tu..but everytime i do it, Alhamdulillah kana bagi jua kesdaran that biarkan tia like that..if aku mcm atu pun, curse ia apa pun..sama tah tu me and ia..kana remindkan that bersabar saja, yg penting i know what my niat is and i know who i am. to ia, i'm no fun sbab i tak minum...i am no fun, sbab i tak freely cuba2 try dadah like ia..to ia, i'm such an anti-soc sbab i jarang kn ke club2s ani..

yg sedihnya i have to tinggal dgn ia lagi tahun dpan, coz akhir dah for aku to try cari tempat tinggal lain tahun dpn..right now, i want to make myself busy dgn work- exam prep..supaya nda time to layn ia and ulah2nya..

biarkan tia it seems as if aku kerugian in ia punya mata..i rather kerugian now, than kerugian waktu akhirat nanti. i seriously pcaya aftr kitani graduate, kami nda lagi kawan..biarkan tia, nda rugi not having orang mcm ia sbgai kawn..

Tulips

I just abis editing the last of our Turkey videos-- i wish i had more, especially for masa we were in Hagia Sophia and the Grand Bazaar :( if i could turn back time, i would go back and record it hahaha but nda apa lah, Alhamdulillah jua dapat merecord our trip on my iPod.

Masa editing the 2nd last one, about a day ago, I found out something amazing about Istanbul :) something to do with my favourite flower in the whole wide world hahaha-- ubah tia? Tulip ani is a symbol of Istanbul, patut tah byk around the city..I feel so content now, i've been to two places yg put tulip above the rose. Istanbul & Holland :D

When i was younger, I realised that all the cliche love stories slalu involve kan bunga mawar and i was like 'eww, apakan lawanya bunga ani? labih jua eh..' haha I literally fikir like that and decided I am never going to like roses sbab smua orang sudah suka and mcm nda special. That is when i first knew about tulips :)

I found out that the Dutch used to sell tulips during their Imperial days-- and that it is quite a money-making flower. Tulip ani so regal and byk the history that i decided that whilst other girls go crazy over roses, I will love Tulip instead.

Iatah masa atu in Holland, iski ku kan meliat...duii bukan masanya, this Easter time ani bru tah lots of Tulip fields comes to life. This is especially true arh the Keukenhof garden-- nanti tah, bila berezki, berjalan ke sana :)

Ani kan ke uni ku ehh..boring ku di rumah ani, and oh its been super summer-y di Cornwall for the past 3 days i've been back..iatah me & my housemate joking that maybe im bringing the sun back to fal

lots of love,

Salam :)

P/s

I forgot to include tadi that despite everything ( which usually comes down to financial issues), i have no regrets :D no regrets about going to Turkey, London, Portsmouth & Oxford :) i thoroughly enjoyd my short vacation..Alhamdulillah i get to reconnect dgn kengkawan lama yg sangat dirindui sebabnya jarang berabis berjumpa..but now its back to reality!!!

mesti start revising tah nie..esuk Insyallah kan ke library and get everything sorted out :D

Easter blues

i'm broke :( and its only like a week into april arghhh...baru saja check my account tadi, my duit byk lari ke makanan, transport and top-up o2 arghhh...this is what London does to you! esp. if ur like me, iski sana sini sbab jarang ke London or any city, that is...

I still got money but that is for rent and a little bit of money in my savings account..nda buleh touch tu, i already felt bad coz i used up half of my savings dah for last xmas holiday..hmm..and i thought i would be better with money, this year. Everything looks promising awal2 last year atu, but now..arghhh selalu nie, after Easter, broke tia ku like last year.

Ireland costs a fortune-- our Turkish trip is actually the cheapest i ever spent on my holidays so far~ hmmm...ada same time, i'm like..'nda apa, bukan kau selalu ke bla bla bla'..but then ada jua rasa guilty, krang my parent tanya tu about my savings.

Planning kan go somewhere before balik Brunei, but if like this, payh nie...jgn tah kali kemana2 before balik, though its tempting to do so-- planning kan ke Milan or Berlin...bukan rezki kali, liat lah how it goes.

pokoknya, until May comes, no shopping ( not even grocery shopping, i just went to ASDA today and spent my last few pounds on milk, egg and bread) and no travelling around even though plymouth, exeter and liverpool are calling my name :(...

My dad lagi kan minta balikan kasut-- mesti save nie, nanti tah di Brunei or Aussie bersuka-ria hahaha probably spend it all on food :D

I just came back from Istanbul ( which isn't the capital of Turkey cough*milin*cough :p) about a day ago :D

I am not ready to blog about it yet, because that would mean me accepting the fact that it is over and that i'm no longer there..so yes, i am in denial atm. i will blog it when i'm ready to move on hahaha

Woke up at 8ish at Azizi's place, then Zee and me made our way to Bhall coz i have to pack my stuffs to go to portsmouth today to visit my cousin, Kajah diana. i went to her place last xmas break, for about 3 days and 2 nights..i didn't get to see much then coz it was too cold and i was sick at that time. After 3 months of not seeing each other, Zee and I were reunited at Oodles noodle at Bayswater :) i love her to bits...she makin lawa, banarrrrr-- i'm not patronising or what, but its true...i still wish we went to the same uni..i hope she still wish that hahahah

I think i'm coming down with something because i been coughing since morning and i just feel sleep all the time-- i blame it on the weather! anyways walked from southsea to my cousin's place at portsmouth harbour tadi..it was a good, relaxing and beautiful walk despite the cold..i got to see the mini fun fair at clarence pier, which is located arh old portsmouth area. it is so americana - but i like it :)

I am supposed to leave for london esuk, but kaka asked me to stay a day longer so i'm going back sunday saja..then i'm leaving london for cornwall wed morning..its kinda early for me to go but i don't know what i will do in london, with everyone gone back to their respective places to revise for exams. so i'm going back earlier than i want to..i might go to plymouth and exeter, before uni resumes and easter break ends..actually kan i wanted to go to liverpool but coz megha can't afford it, we hve to postpone it..

hmm..next destination? spain, prague or italy :) the only place i ever want to go in Spain is Granada where Alhambra and Andalusia is located..meanwhile for Italy, it is Florence :D and Rome come second.. Prague is in the card because of no particular reasons..

i'm not making much sense in this blog because im still super tired and sleepy-- my coach journey was terrribleeee...a screaming baby for the whole 3 hours..arghhh it was super painful seriously..and i thought having toddlers chasing each other on the plane on our flight back to UK was annoying, this screaming baby managed to prove me wrong..

state of mind: i am actually considering what my Babu said to me - Babu, if ada takdir & jodoh, Insyallah ada tu and yes, i will accept it with an open heart and mind..

okay, might go shopping di gun wharf quays esuk..i want to get sme paperchase and possibly a new pair of earrings or something..i am tempted to get new flats but i bought 2 pair of shoes already last year..i need to get a new pair of mac jacket before balik Brunei for summer since the one i have now is falling into pieces..

hmmmm...last month, i went to his place -- gilaaaa..basar rumahnya and pretty jauh from Penryn-- he's so adorable, bru bangun tidur and he complimented me on my tshirt *blush* my housemates plang iski when i told them i got invited to their place, for an after-essays informal gathering :D they know that i had a massive crush on him in my first year & that i can't breathe everytime i see him hahahaha but that was like old story lah..i still think he's cute but i'm not interested in hm that way..i never did to be honest, he isn't my type in terms of personality and ia ada gf bahh..

knapa tia i'm talking about him ani? ohh ohhh i also had this all-girls night-in sleepover at Addy's place, the night after we handed in our last 2 essays :D i seriously thought we are gonna watch one of those cheesy teen movies but nahhh, we watched the reader--- gila, how serious can we be? it was sad and disturbing - didn't like it that much..we ordered Indian food and hahahah stayed up til 5 am bercerita padahal we have class at 12 that day..kami mcm zombie msa lecture and we all felt sick..hahaha it was so funny and to make it worse, we had a seminar from 3-5 pm that day, so me and kat stayed at uni from 11 plus til 5..ndakan menyiksa tu? we had fun lahh hehehe